Masachusetts Shave Business Blog

Below, you’ll find another family business question and answer from “Dear Abby.”   As you’ll see, Abby is even more forceful this time in putting the business first.  Does Abby have this right?  Do the experts have it right?  Can you take this business-first approach too far?  I hope you’ll post your thoughts about Abby’s advice to “Trying to Save the Business.”  What you would do in the situation “Trying” describes?  What is the proper balance between the demands of family and business?  BROTHER-IN-LAW’S ATTITUDE IS BAD FOR FAMILY BUSINESS

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DEAR ABBY: Our family owns a bar in a resort community. I run it, along with my mom and two of my sisters. Added to that mix is one of my brothers-in-law, “Jeff.” Jeff is the problem. Jeff manages the bar some nights, and he is becoming increasingly difficult to work with. He does a good job of managing in most areas. However, he is impossible to talk to. At the ripe old age of 26, he has become a know-it-all. If he thinks he’s being criticized, he becomes combative, bossy or defensive. He is also very sensitive, and frankly, very immature. I understand that Jeff loves our business and is dedicated to his job, but the problem is the way he talks over everyone. He also likes to hold his position over employees, and his refusal to listen to what others have to say is making an impossible situation. If he wasn’t a part of the family, he would not be working here in his current capacity. I have tried explaining that he must choose his words more carefully, and that he needs to listen and be a part of the team rather than always “the boss,” but nothing gets through. I’m reluctant to upset the natural balance of our family or hurt Jeff or my sister, but something must be done. We’re losing good employees and customers because of his attitude. What can I do?

family business advisers Washington DC– TRYING TO SAVE THE BUSINESS DEAR TRYING: You have failed to recognize that “the business” is an entirely separate entity from “the family,” and must be treated as such. What you might tolerate from a family member is not always acceptable in business. Because, I assume, your family’s livelihood depends upon the business, you have a duty to nurture it and, if necessary, prune away anything that might threaten it. My advice is to call a meeting of your “shareholders” and stage an intervention with your brother-in-law. Make it plain that there must be an attitude adjustment effective immediately, or, much as you care about him, he will have to find other employment. Then act accordingly. Business is business.     (Copyright © 1999-2010 cnhi, inc.)I’ll share my take on Trying’s question (and your reactions) in my next Family Business Alliance blog post. 

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